im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
