And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
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