You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
