I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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