You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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