Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Quick, to the slutcave!
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
