PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Jerry, you need to find god
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
