i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
