We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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