I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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