So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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