I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Randomize
