i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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