I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
My vagina is very pro this idea
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
