umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
