I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
