I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize