$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
