Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
