May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
