ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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