Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
