I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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