he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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