i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
