I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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