I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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