his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
