I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
