Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
