What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i out mim tonsoeep
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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