Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
