Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
