He kissed a someone with a penis
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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