We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
