I am puke
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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