Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
