So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
