Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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