Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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