i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
They are going to name an STD after you.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
