Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
