You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
They have beer where we have blood.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
