I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
