Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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