I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
