All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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