you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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