I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Sorry about my life...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
