last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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