Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
