In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
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