Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
