im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
