If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
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