And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
