about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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