the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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