everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
