But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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