I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
