Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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