Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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